Three Questions That Can Shift Everything
- Simone Grimmer
- Aug 6
- 3 min read
Updated: Aug 14
Working from Essence + Living the New Happy
Most people ask, “What should I do?”
Fewer ask, “What’s mine to give?”
In moments of transition, decision fatigue, or quiet longing, these deeper questions matter.
Robert Ellis offered three that help cut through the noise:
Will this create a life I love?
Will this be of true service, in alignment with my essence?
Who will I become?
Stephanie Harrison’s The New Happy echoes this truth:Happiness doesn’t live in achievement—it lives in contribution, connection, and becoming someone you’re proud to be.
What does it mean to work from essence?
Essence is your natural way of creating value without effort.
It’s not a résumé.
Not a persona. Not a “zone of genius.”
It’s the part of you that shows up even when you're tired.
The part others feel, even when you say nothing.
Quiet. But powerful.
Working from essence means choosing paths that let you be more of yourself—not more impressive.
What do these questions actually mean?
1. Will this create a life I love? Ellis reminds us: to answer this, you need to know what a life you love even looks like.
That means getting honest about your values.
Listening to what delights you, what feels alive—not just what you're good at.
What feels congruent.
What feels like breath.
2. Will this be of true service, in alignment with my essence?
Choosing a life you love is an act of self-care.
But if it only serves you, it’s incomplete and only serves self-interest.
Ellis says: Essence wants to be of service.
Not flashy service. True service.
The form doesn’t matter. The congruence does.
3. Who will I become?
Every path shapes you.
Ellis asks: If you go on this journey, who will you become?
Not what will you get. Who will you become?
The world doesn’t need more burnout or performance.
It needs people becoming their most authentic selves.
Living the New Happy
Stephanie Harrison’s The New Happy challenges the “Old Happy”—the belief that success, perfection, and status will make us feel whole.
Instead, she invites us to:
Accept ourselves as we are
Share our gifts with others
Redefine success as contribution, not competition
You don’t have to change everything.You only have to notice what already feels true—and choose from there.
Try them on
If you’re sitting with a decision, a pivot, or a quiet ache for something more aligned, ask:
Will this create a life I love? (Not just one I can manage.)
Will this be of true service? (Not just useful—congruent.)
Who will I become? (And do I want to meet that person?)
You don’t need perfect answers.
Just honest ones.
Noticing counts.
And for me, personally…
My essence has something to do with how I connect people—often without trying.
Not just to others, but to themselves.
I listen.
I create spaces that feel safe enough for unraveling and realignment.
I hold complexity without rushing to resolve it.
I support healing, not by offering solutions, but by inviting people to meet themselves with compassion.
That’s how I naturally add value.It’s not flashy. But it’s real. And it’s mine.
What about you?
What’s the part of you that quietly adds value—without trying to impress?
The way you listen. The questions you ask.
The way others feel more like themselves in your presence.
What’s your essence?
No need to name it perfectly.
Just notice what lingers.
This reflection draws on Robert Ellis’s three-question framework for working from essence, and Stephanie Harrison’s re-imagining of happiness in The New Happy—where contribution, authenticity, and inner alignment matter more than performance.
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